Can I love Jesus and leave the Church?
It’s easy to become disillusioned with the Church. I mean, if Christians are meant to be like Jesus, then churches should be amazing, right? These life-giving, truth-speaking, grace-extending communities centred around love. Which is why reality tends to smack us in the face. For not only does the church have a spotty historical record—with a litany of sacred crimes hiding in the closet—but even now, as the growing number of deconstruction and de-conversion stories spell out online, people experience all kinds of negative things in church: from the religious hypocrisy of Christian leaders to the relational dysfunction of church members.
Now sometimes the let down is relatively benign, as we question whether the time, energy, and money poured into church is actually doing anything—is it really worth it? But other times the trauma is real, where people God loves have become the victims of one of the many evil faces of abuse. Is it any wonder, then, in the shadow of such disillusionment, that people begin to question whether they should jettison the church altogether to try out solo Christianity?
So what does the Christian story say about the importance of Christian community?
The truth is I resonate with those who sometimes struggle with church. My heart is especially heavy for those who were hurt in the very communities that God intended to bring healing. What I want to say to you, though, if you have been wounded by Christians, is that leaving A church does not have to be the same thing as leaving THE church. If A church has become toxic then undoubtedly the right thing to do, depending on your capacity, is either to expose what is evil or leave. Potentially both. If the teaching or the culture of A church goes against Jesus, then you can absolutely love Jesus and leave.
But while there may be all kinds of legitimate reasons for leaving A church, for those who love Jesus we never really leave THE church. You see, according to the New Testament, THE church isn’t just found in one building or location. No. Of all the metaphors used to describe the church—a bride, a body, a building—the Christian story focuses most of all on the family. THE church refers to the family of God we are born again into when we believe in and follow Jesus.
As it turns out, Christianity was never a solo enterprise, for Jesus and the Apostles gave abundant commands that can only be followed in community. Over 100 times the New Testament invites us to engage in one-anothering—that Christians are to love one another (John 13:34), bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), be devoted to one-another (Romans 12:10), and encourage one-another—which is why following Jesus is not something you can only do in private.
So, while I totally appreciate that deep trauma needs tender care, and that disillusionment can make it hard to engage again, I want to spell out why I think Christians need to be part of A church physically, and not just THE church spiritually.
Three reasons to invest in Church:
1. It takes a Church to raise a Christian.
The Christian story teaches that the full-gamut of being saved by Jesus is something that only happens in Christian community, not cut off from it. After all, if we are to become again who we were created to be, developing the heart and hands and mind of Christ, then we need other Christians to help us better inhabit the Christian story. We need spiritual shepherds to teach us and challenge us, spiritual fathers and mothers to look up to, and spiritual friends who will encourage us through every season of life. So while we may be tempted to think that leaving the church makes our lives easier, comfort is rarely a reliable metric of personal growth. Often the cost of community, the irritation of having to love other messy people, is precisely the forge through which God shapes us to become like Jesus Without a local church the Christian suffers.
2. It takes Christians to build up the Church.
The Christian story teaches that if the church is Jesus’ body here on earth, that each individual Christian has a role to play to help the body be healthy and function. One person is an eye, another a hand, and another a foot, each with a heart and gifts and expertise that is indispensable to the flourishing of the body. That means when we as Christians make the decision to cut ourselves off from a body, now that church is walking blind, or limping along, without the unique contribution that God intends you to have. Without a Christian the local church suffers.
3. Jesus is not done with the Church.
No-one is more aware of the church’s shortcomings than Jesus. What’s incredible about the Christian story is that, unlike me, Jesus isn’t tempted to walk away when people let him down. Jesus loves the church. Described as his bride in the New Testament, Jesus has a vision for who the church is to become. And he knows that by loving her, she can become lovely; that through sacrifice and devotion, she can become beautiful. Like with you and me, people who are messed up, Jesus has pre-decided to love his church, which is why, if you love Jesus, he invites us to make that same pre-commitment: to love his church, helping her become beautiful and a beacon of hope for the world as she frames the good news of the Christian story.
When we see how far a church falls short of her potential, we only have the beginnings of a prophetic voice. For that voice to mature to where it echos the love of Christ, our sword of critique in the one hand needs to be matched by a cross of sacrifice in the other, where we are willing, like Jesus, to lay down our lives to see her built up.
So can I love Jesus and leave THE church? What God has joined together let no person separate.
